People I Can Do Without: People with too many holiday decorations

Posted by

.jh

on 2009-12-18T02:54:15Z

People I can do without will be a reoccurring subject on this blog.

Do you really need 45 nativity scenes, 196 reindeer, 78 Santas, 934 elves, 324 gnomes, 486 Mrs Clauses (Santa is a polygamist), 667 crosses, 1000 jebus statues and 160 miles of blinking lights? Nobody in your neighborhood has gotten a decent night’s sleep since before Thanksgiving because of the incessant choir of HO HO HOs, bible verse recitations, reindeer snorting, elf chattering and the Rudolf song on constant repeat in a glorious cacophony. Add to that, that all neighbors have taken to wearing sunglasses inside as your lights penetrate their walls. Your house is directly responsible for all accidents on your street as everybody that drives down the street is immediately blinded. When your electrical usage is higher than the annual consumption of North Korea, it’s time to scale back the spirit, and check yourself into a psychiatric facility. Fuck off and die.

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.jh
A Darker Shade of Black

People I Can Do Without: People with too many holiday decorations

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