First we have the turn signals, generally located on the left of the steering column, they are meant to be used to let other drivers know that you will be turning or changing lanes. There seems to be a common misperception that you use your turn signal after you’ve changed lanes, you don’t. Nobody gives a fuck where you were. And while on the subject of changing lanes, the solid line means stay the fuck where you are, change lanes once it’s dashed.

High beams are another source of constant entertainment, now-a-days with most cars all having blindingly bright normal lights, you’d think they are almost out of fashion, alas no. People don’t seem to understand that running with them on is quite obnoxious for the rest of us, how are the teenagers in the back seat supposed to get some clandestine feels in when you light the car up like the inside of an OR? People also seem unable to understand that running with your high beams on in the fog does nothing; well nothing except bounce all the light back at them, which in most cases is ok as they’re just hurting themselves. Of course then these fuckers go cause an accident and back traffic up for 30 miles. I hope you died. Finally normal lights, if it’s dark or dusk you turn them on, if there is precipitation and poor visibility you turn them on. You’d think this is common sense, however if I had a dime for every car I see out there driving in the dead of night with no lights on, I could retire right now.